the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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