I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We are two peas in an std pod
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
third nipple confirmed
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
