i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
