he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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