dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
