On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize