Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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