North Korea, Best Korea!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
