mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm bleeding and have questions
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
