My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Let's paint friendship bongs
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
