Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
