btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
