i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
