I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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