Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
