PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
