Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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