Kiss
Puke
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
