In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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