Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
