Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
