There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
