Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm bleeding and have questions
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
