Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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