I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
