shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
