i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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