I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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