Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
