Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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