I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
pop tarts are not kleenex
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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