I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
