And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
