I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
