i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
