we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
