How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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