Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
