I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
