Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
