put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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