Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
