I want to make a zoo with you.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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