Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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