just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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