The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
