worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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