I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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