I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
