hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
