people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
