Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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