No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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