Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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