theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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