how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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