Small penises have feelings too.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
