I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
