"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
