look no pants
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
