your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize