uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
